A Journey in Simplicity: Living at the Right Pace
This last Saturday I ran hills with a friend and stellar athlete. I begged and begged until she brought me along on her running adventure. When we arrived to run I felt like a little puppy all hyped up on nothing but happy thoughts and naivete. It didn't last too long. Just about 3 minutes into the run it all set in, running with someone way more conditioned than me was one thing- running with that same individual up hills (aka mountains) is just out of this world insane. I had no idea what she meant when she said, "want to come running in the forest? I'll pick you up tomorrow". Only about 2 minutes after we started heading up the trails I chocked out, "how much further do you think it is to the top?" My running buddy (aka. Flash Gordon) turned around and smiled not even slightly out of breath- "I'm not a very good judge of distance" she said, and that was that.
Uhhhh, so twenty feet, thirty...nope, nothing that meager- it was a good ways up. Up and up we ran for at least a mile-and-a-half, at a speed quicker than I thought possible. We got to the top and I knew that there was no way I would have kept running if I had known how far it was at the bottom. I don't know that I would have gotten out of my warm bed had I known what was coming. The run down was ecstasy, fed by the pure delight of knowing I had worked for that down-hill with every breath and leg transforming into jell-o stride that I had taken on the way up. I loved every second, of the downhill that is. The course set out flat for a while and I again was just happy to be there, thinking it was over-completely clueless again.
Before I can say "holy atomic pile, Batman!" she silently merges toward where I know to be another mountain (by the way she calls them "hills" I must say this is very inaccurate!) even as we took that first turn in the direction of another battle my legs drained of blood and I just about fell to the path clutching something-ANYTHING to get me out of this one. But no, on and on we went. She told me to lead so I could go at my pace. But being prideful as I am I didn't slow much, I didn't want her to really know how I was dying and never take me anywhere "fun" again! Up and up, turn after turn-I tell her to take the lead again since I feel I am pushing to hard and then she turns around and tells me "we can walk whenever you need to", I smile and say, "I'm not gonna want to walk" and two seconds later I do. I don't just walk, but I stop and puke up the banana that I forced myself to eat for breakfast at the ungodly hour when my tummy was not yet open for business!
This friend of mine, Flash, she is a good friend and she felt so bad that she asked if we should head back down. Why didn't I jump at the chance? I must be part nuts too. I wanted to push on-"slower this time" I said, "but I want to make it to the top". We did, and then I got to enjoy the downhill.
Nothing too exciting happens after that. I make it to the end and live to tell the tale. But the reason I bring all this up is because for me running is one of those things that makes me think about my spiritual walk, and God taught me several things that day. I think I should know what is coming up, know how to lead, jump ahead and take the course and get it over with but pace is everything taking it just at the right speed so as not to miss out (or loose your lunch). It is just the way God works in us to not emphasize exactly the timing or quality of our difficulties (our mountains), our joy, or our sorrow. He looks at us as he leads us up the mountain the whole time judging just how fast we should go and says, "just a little further" not because to us it is a small distance, but because He knows we can make it and conquer what He has set for us to overcome! When I set my own pace in life things may appear to be fine, I may even try to pretend sometimes that they are but that is when my pace gets all out of whack and it may cost the victory of that battle if I don't take a step back and let His pace settle back into my life. He knows just how to push us to develop those muscles, that endurance and the character that He wants to see in us.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and he will direct your paths" Proverbs 3: 5+6
"No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it". Hebrews 12:11
PS. I haven't eaten another banana since! Eeek! And I am not a huge wimp- we did run 8 miles that day, half of it up pretty steep hills. You try it!
I'd love to hear where God is taking you. I can't wait to hear!
If you are just tuning in now to the simplicity posts and are interested in joining us be sure and check out my other posts about this voyage:
A Journey in Simplicity
Starting Out
Fasting for Simplification and Re-Sensitization
The Moment of Truth
Breaking Bad Habits
Why We'll Never Be Content With What We Have
A Journey in Simplicity: Breaking Bad Habits
The last several days have been interesting, I often walk toward the computer just out of complete habit and slide it onto my lap from the table and then back realizing I don't even know what I am doing. It reminds me of when I am working with our youngest son on not sucking his fingers (security thing he has done since 2 months old), it is a mindless, habit, just a go-to for him just as the computer is for me. The computer may not be your thing, but think about it for a second and figure out if it is food, relationships, entertainment or what fills you but leaves you lacking-what is your filler bad habit.
The first step in breaking a bad habit is to look at why you find this action so compelling. In other words, what's the payoff for doing this seemingly negative thing? Since you've already classified this as a "bad" habit you may be tempted to say there isn't one. But look closer. There is always a payoff. Let's say your bad habit is yelling at your kids. What's in it for you? You let off some steam and feel a little better for the moment. Or you have a bad habit of leaving the dishes unwashed? The payoff could be that you get to spend more time on the Internet! (Bad Choices, Bad Habits by Nancy Schimelpfening)
According to Nancy (let's just call her by her first name) there is a pay off which is why you practice the behavior, but also there is a trade off. The trade off is what you are loosing by exercising your go-to bad habit. Using the example from above, yelling at your kids, it is obvious what the trade off is: low self-esteem, guilt, shame, sadness, the tearing of bonds, anxiety, stress, and emotional pain. When you act on this bad habit, you are choosing your outburst of relief over your children's well being, and really even your own. When you break it all up like that it is pretty clear that bad habits, although habits should be broken because a new pattern needs to be established. Each time you are faced with a choice between the bad habit pay off and the trade off, and now you'll realise that it is a choice even though it is programmed a certain way you can work to break that. Wise choices are not easier, but they are wiser.
Bad habits are started up for a reason, once you understand that you can form good habits in their place- a positive go to so that you don't keep going back the the bad habit. Make an active choice, one that you can feel good about. Habits aren't bad, bad habits are bad. Instead of releasing your frustration in yelling choose to go for a run in the evening! It isn't bad to need a release, but you can choose where to channel it.
Once a different habit pattern is established the only way you'll meander back is if you are in denial about the original model of pay off and trade off mentioned above. If you find yourself justifying a bad habit go back and remind yourself of the reasons for not indulging, there are repercussions-some bigger some smaller but bad habits are labeled bad for a reason.
Just writing this and reading up on bad habits, I have almost wanted to write a list of things that I do on a regular basis and attack them all. But I need to have wisdom and in faith come at these bad habits one at a time with God's guidance.
Take Action: Jot down the habit you want to deal with, pick one to start with. Pray about it and ask God which one He'd have you work on first. Write out your list of "pay offs" and "trade offs". Remember it isn't easy to break a bad habit, there is a reason it was there in the first place. Establish a substitute good habit in its place.
Are you realising, as I am that you have bad habits that need to be broken in order to live more fully?
If you are just tuning in now to the simplicity posts and are interested in joining us be sure and check out my first posts about this voyage:
A Journey in Simplicity
Starting Out
Fasting for Simplification and Re-Sensitization
The Moment of Truth
A Journey In Simplicity: Moment of Truth
It is time for the moment of truth, the evaluation of those questions probably none of us is dying to answer. I am about to answer the questions I asked you to consider answering as well in this season of your life. Again, you can comment here, write it in your journal and then send me an email- or keep it completely private, it is up to you. I just hope you considered taking this first step in learning how to live your life more simply, and more based on His priorities for you.
Evaluate time and Energy:
Top Priorities: God, Family, Spiritual Growth and health, homeschooling, Church, Friends, Physical health, quality of life.
Commitments: Wife, mom, homeschooling, church, house church, house keeping, book club, reading, painting, crafting, cooking, running, gardening, animal tending, blogging
Which commitments do I value the most: Wife, mom, church, homeschooling
Account for my time: It seems very little is used for my top priorities, but I spend a lot of time thinking of how to use time for those priorities. They get neglected easier than the immediate needs- which I know are important too...but if I spent less time fiddling around, I would have no problem spending time with greater focus on my top priorities.
What I am hearing from God:
-There is no excuse good enough to loose even a day to unproductivity.
-Running in the morning (with and every-once-in-a-while evening treat run) is the way to get your day started the way it should be. Waiting around all day to run, unshowered is just not working out, plus I need that push to get up in the morning to have time with God and to myself as well before the boys get up.
-I need to get organized, my day needs to be organized. I may not know how to do that yet, but I needs to learn.
-For the rest of the year (and maybe forever) I need to use a timer for all entertainment based Internet use (including, but not limited to Facebook, twitter, blog reading, book searching, online TV streaming, you tube...). I need to figure out a daily allowance.
What to do during this week of media fast (or other type if you so choose). Yesterday at the end of this post I mentioned three different options for a media fast this week. I didn't want to leave you in the dark though, not knowing what to do with your time, besides reading the Bible, worshiping....you know :P
Once you choose an option (for your media fast), use the time normally spent on electronic media doing something completely different. For example, if you normally spend two hours watching television in the evening, use those two hours to take a walk with a friend, prayer-walk your neighborhood or pick up a long abandoned hobby.
Keep track of the time you reclaim from electronic media during your fast. I am always amazed at my options when I choose not to watch TV for an hour. Sometimes it is refreshing just to bask in the quiet for a little while. (The Rewards of Simplicity, p. 55)
I'd love to hear your thoughts, your struggles, your ideas, or what God is speaking to you during this fast.
If you are just tuning in now and are interested in joining us be sure and check out my first posts about this voyage:
A Journey in Simplicity: Starting Out
A Journey in Simplicity: Fasting for Simplification and Re-Sensitization
A Journey in Simplicity: Fasting for Simplification and To Be Re-Sensitized
Even though it hurts, for me to be useful and purposeful in life I need to shed pieces that hold me back and tether my desires, dreams and goals to anything other than Christ and what He has called me to. I challenge you to sit down and make a list right now, things you know hold you back, waste your time and/or are not glorifying to God.
There are some questions I am answering for myself (from The Rewards of Simplicity) that you may want to consider too:
Here is a list to help us start evaluating our time and energy:
- List your top priorities. What is most important to you? What (or Whom) do you value most?
- List your commitments. Consider everything, including work, church, household, family, children's extracurricular activities, hobbies, freelance work, even leisure time. Which of these commitments do you value most? Which of these fit into the top priorities you have already listed?
- Account for your time. How do you spend your waking hours? From the time you get up until the time you go to sleep, what are you doing with your time? Are you using any of your time for your top priorities? (Questions from p. 65)
Life is different for us all, and those of us with small kids know that while we would love life to flow efficiently so as to complete our tasks and enjoy life, it doesn't seem to work that way. Yet there are always things we can work on, no matter what stage of life you are in there are things that have crept in that you could do without.
Grab your list of priorities, commitments and time. Looking at each item on your list consider this:
- Does it add meaning/value to my life?
- How important is this to me?
- Does this conflict with or enhance my priorities?
- Cold I eliminate this from my life? (Questions from p.66)
Once you answer those questions honestly (which is a huge battle in itself) it is time to take action, you can do that in different ways. You could choose to eliminate one item off your list for a few days or a week, and then reevaluate. You should be able to determine quicky if it should be a permanent carving out or a toning down of that item.
Make sure you are doing this with the right motivation, " it is important to keep in mind the motivation for evaluating our time commitments and priorities-love. When we approach this evaluation with the three keys of simplification-faith, focus and function-we can be confident that the Holy Spirit will be controling the pencil".(The Rewards of Simplicity, p. 67)
After answering these questions, you may also decide to try a season of media fast, you have some different options to try:
- Cold turkey, see the problem and eliminate it all the way for a week. Keep up on email and/or use internet for work and essential research only.
- If that seems intense, try one day without electronic media of any kind. Again email and necessary research is okay for work.
- Take your pick of one of your problem media sources, one at a time eliminate it for a day or two or a week. Start with a firm goal in mind though.
Is that a lot to think about or what?! I need to answer these questions myself tonight and be honest with where I am at If you would like to take this walk with me you are welcome to follow along in comments, sending me an email if you are a more private sort of person, or just doing it without a word. Pray about what steps you should take to remove the clutter from your life.
Tomorrow (Monday) I am going to share with you what you should be doing during your media fast, it is interesting I think how a fast can leave you more nourished than when you have an array of foods (in our case media foods) to sample. This will be a great journey, so pray, make your lists, and check in tomorrow!
If you are just tuning in now and are interested in joining us be sure and check out my first post about this voyage:
A Journey in Simplicity: Starting Out
A Journey in Simplicity: Starting Out
Over the next days, and weeks consider taking a journey with me. I have decided to go on a a voyage toward simplifying my life with a strong focus on distractions. Removing things from my life in order to allow me to hear what God is saying, what he wants of me and how He loves me. Pray about it, think about it then come with me!
There is stuff I need to work on. Need an example? Sure! I wake up in the morning and the first thing I do is turn on the computer. I justify it in my mind and heart as, " I just need to check email, I'm not awake enough to get anything out of the Bible yet anyway..." or other such nonsense. Then I just sit there after I check my email, and I check facebook to see what everyone is up to, then I check my twitter account and on and on. Time has ticked, before I have cracked God's word, the boys are due to get up anytime- so I grab the Bible and spend 5 minutes reading and feel justified in being annoyed with the boys when they interupt me at their regular rise time of 9am. Okay, there you have it- and that is all before breakfast!!
I picked up a book last night that has spurred me to act against this mentality, or whatever it is. I consumed chapter after chapter of The Rewards of Simplicity: A Practical and Spiritual Approach last night. I know I need change, I need to take a respite. I need real-life God time. I will not spend time with God out of ritual, but because in order to be filled by Him consistently I need my flesh to grow weak, I need His word in me, His voice in my heart where others try to creep in- I need silence of so many other things. Distractions.
I challenge you to go on this road too with me. Find the areas of clutter in your life, these can be physical stuff around your house, too much time spent on the internet, watching tv, reading, blogging, sports, cleaning the house, video game playing....there are so many time stealers out there. It can also be ways you're serving Christ out of guilt rather than obedience- all these rob time from you, your relationship with Christ and your family. Take a step back and peek into your life.
I am going to take it all on, I am inspired now so why not. For the next week I am killing my craving for the computer. I am going to pray about it and tomorrow (Monday) I'll let you know for sure exactly what I feel I am allowing to distract me, to meet cravings, or leave me flat. I want to re-evaluate what has value in my life and why it has value. What has cluttered my house, my mind and my time? For me this fast might include different things than it will for you, ask God what you run to instead of Him. Ask your husband, he would probably know! I am not going to stop blogging, as I want to post during the week what God is speaking, and some Bible verses, words God has spoken to me...all that good stuff. I would love to stay connected with you during this time, especially if you are spurred on to take this walk with me.
What distractions in your life would you have a hard time giving up? That is a good place to start. Think about it, check in tomorrow for some tips and ideas, and do pray about it- the trip starts Monday.
The Rewards of Simplicity: A Practical and Spiritual Approach
This is the book that started this all, I am on chapter 4 and will be posting different things from this book as I glean from it. It is the best book I have read yet on why it is improtant to simplify both spiritually and practically- it seems most other books cover one or the other. I highly recommend this one.
Teaching My Kids to Read
The little pleasures are the ones that can easily be overlooked until they are long gone, then we look back and wonder why we didn't spend more time enjoying them. One of my simple pleasures (now and for the last couple years) has been teaching my boys to read. Oh, yes sometimes it is aggravating, especially when they don't even try to pay attention and are pretending to read while looking out the window, but more days than not it is a delight to watch while they learn.
That may not sound very exciting, and I will acknowledge that sometimes I myself read posts like this by moms who talk about silly little things that they "say" they enjoy doing with their kids and because I don't get it, I just don't get it...this may be that type of post to you. If so know that it is really one of those things that you can't see the miracle in until you watch it happen, until you watch a child learn to read right before your eyes you don't realise the simple pleasure that comes from teaching. I feel so privileged to not be missing this, staying home, training and educating my kids is what I most want to be doing with my time right now.
I never thought I'd be homeschooling since I myself didn't enjoy being homeschooled. In highschool (even through parts of college) I wanted nothing more to be in the Army and then later a police officer, but the strangest part of it all to me is that I could have missed this blessing if I had been allowed to choose for myself. Still today there are days when I wish I could get all camoed up and run through the forest (and away from my kids), but over all I have found joy in the most simple of things right where I am, because all I know is that today this is exactly where God wants me to be. No worries about tomorrow, just right now, just today.
Think of some simple pleasures in your life which could easily be overlooked. Do you have one to share??
The Latest Posts:
- We Loved With A Love That Was More Than Love.
- He’s more myself than I am.
- Valentine,You Must Allow Me To Tell You…
- Stones of Remembrance Because I Love Him: Mommy Jewellery
- Marked by Blessing
- Despair is Losing its Grip, a Lasting Peace Filling its Fingerprints
- Transformed Through Pain, Learning Who I Am Now.
- May There Be Beauty from This Pain.
I (adoringly) HEART—>
