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I've summed it all up before, the last 3 years of my life pretty much- you should go read it so you can see how incredibly cool what just happened is. When God called us to Spain, I put my biggest dream of moving to a farm, living on some land, bee keeping, goat raising, blueberry harvesting away. Less than a month ago Brad's Uncle asked us to move out to the farm and live there. It is larger than we'd ever need, the house, the land, and the God that I serve, by large in all of the aforementioned- HUGE.  Not only is it a dream-- but it was one I had no idea how God would remedy. I've told Him often, either grant this wish or take it, I'll be content with either. But when we were asked to move to the family farm my brain popped and my image of God shattered, He is a very weird God- in an extremely great way. It won't be any time super soon, things have to get prepped and primped- but it will be in about 6 months.

So when that happened, I pretty much looked straight into heaven and thought to myself (and probably right at God too) saying: "Huh God, you are good, always good, I wonder if I am pregnant now too". I don't think it was a dare, and I know God didn't take it that way...but I am currently pregnant. Yep, sometimes people say things happen by coincidence, I think that they must be some of the most oblivious people in the world. Farm and baby in the same month,that is no coincidence.

If you don't believe God can do it, I dare you...give Him the chance. He doesn't love me any more than He loves you. God is just purposeful in how he loves us, weather through complete joy filled blessing, or trials that will bring the heart that He desires in us, which is bigger than any earthly blessing. God is stinkin' AWESOME!!!!

It also is no coincidence that I just started memorizing Hebrews 11 on Faith.

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. This is what the ancients were commended for. By faith we understand that the universe was formed at God’s command, so that what is seen was not made out of what was visible.

In approximately 6 months we will be farm dwellers, and use the land (oh that is thrilling!!! AHHH!!!) and in the first couple weeks of June I'll be having a baby. That is a lot of news for one post.

Here is the summary with links if you'd like to be more clued in:

First we were excited to be missionaries, and have more BABIES!!
We waited and waited...
Then He said "NO", to the missionary thing and I wasn't getting pregnant.
Learned the humility that that required. (for both things)
And then I thought I just would never know why God did what He did.
Now I do.

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Every year for at least the last 9 years I have canned tomatoes, salsa, beans, apple pie filling, apple butter,  apple sauce, pears, and the works with Ag. She was Brad's grandma, but more than that she was my really good friend. You may remember she died some months back- an event that completely caught me off guard, because if anyone was tough enough to never die it was Agnes Marble.

She was a hero to me, she taught me so much.  She taught me about plants, pie crusts, sourdough starters, she held my hand while I killed my first chicken, together we herded cattle across the creek, she let me bottle feed a calf, she took the nastiest splinter out of my thumb when I didn't have the guts to even look. She treated me as her own, her very own, and I took it. She wasn't really very sweet or gentle and didn't care to be, yet that tough (I could almost say caloused) love she practised snached my heart completely. She was the real deal, she always said what she wanted to and held little regard for those who didn't.

I had no intentions of canning this year, out of fear of the emotions it would bring up,  but when I walked by some of the most beautiful ripe tomatoes I forgot I wasn't going to can until after I had bought them. I knew it would make me sad. While I type this, the last of 49 quart jars are in the canner. I did it, I canned without the physical presence of Ag- but not for a moment was she away from my thoughts, not a second. Next year might be easier, but I almost hope it isn't, remembering someone no matter how painful, at least is still remembering. I'd rather remember in pain than forget.

What am I saying? There was no one I loved quite like Ag. I had no idea of how much death would cheat me- I wish I could give it a good punch in the gut. Then maybe these tears would stop coming.

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If you want to see all of our New Jersey Trip pictures: New Jersey 2011

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I know what two little boys are getting for when we go backpacking this summer....poles with button release, and the courage to bait their own hooks.

With a special THANK YOU to my cousins Dan and Shelly Durand and Jamie Cole for prepping the poles, baiting the hook, casting out, and reeling in- if that is how it is said. We learned a lot today, thank you.

We should do a repeat on the West Coast.

If you want to see all of our New Jersey Trip pictures: New Jersey 2011

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