A Journey in Simplicity: Why We’ll Never Be Content With What We Have
But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing we will be content with that.
1 Timothy 6:6+7
Does our happiness rest on what we have, what we don't have, what we could have? Does your contentment rest on the day that surrounds you or the children acting up, or not getting time to yourself? It does many times for me, or at least I think it does, but it doesn't really. To be content is a major requirement of simple living. You can't live simply if you are constantly looking for better, bigger, more- that is just the opposite of simplicity. Lets check out a couple of definitions:
Simple: free from guile-innocent, free from vanity-modest, free from ostentation or display, of humble origin or modest position. ( The Rewards of Simplicity, p. 103)
Simplify: to make more simple, to reduce the basic essentials; render less complex; make easy or easier.
Contented: [pp. of content], not desiring something more or different; satisfied. (Webster's New World Dictionary)
However today I want to talk about the only area in which you are not to be ever satisfied, or contented: your walk with Christ. We are to discipline ourselves to hunger after Christ, by removing barriers out of the way. If I am consistently satisfying my hunger with momentary world fixes, I learn to not look for or covet the real complex, eternal food that comes from being satisfied in Christ alone. In this world, the getting it now always beats the wait, even if it is for something better- something incomparably deeper, richer and lasting.
It is like eating junk at all hours of the day immediately once you feel a craving, of course you aren't hungry for the real meal later on. Or for me personally God has challenged me saying, "why do you think about feeding your body good food, quality food and then feed yourself spiritual junk just enough to satisfy your craving for Me? You will always come up wanting, always come up full of discontent and never grow stronger until you learn to work on waiting, on patience".
My [daughter], give me your heart and let your eyes keep to my ways
- Proverbs 23:26
Then Jesus declared, "I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty"
-John 6:35
So, if that is true why do I crave things? Why do I long for things I don't have- a full person, a person satisfied in Christ doesn't need the world to fill her, a daughter who allows her heart to wait on Christ does not long for more and more. However a woman who chooses junk over the real thing is malnourished and therefore always craving, always hungry-yet growing fat, struggling while reaching for sinking help and this is not just me...we are a malnourished people craving Christ so strongly but filling our bellies with nothing good.
So why won't we ever be content with what we have?? Because what we have doesn't make us content. I am convicted, and with tears in my eyes as I write this because I know I go the easiest and quickest way on a regular basis. I want to learn to not fill my craving for Christ, the Bread of Life with quick fixes: food, entertainment, shopping, web browsing, cheap thrills I want to be consistently contented, and fully satisfied.
Why spend money on what is not bread,
and your labor on what does not satisfy?
Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good,
and your soul will delight in the richest of fare.
- Isaiah 55:2
I have never understood that this verse was speaking to just that, I love the simplicity of delighting in Him, no craving when you consume "the richest of fare".
Let's Talk:
I've had several of you share thoughts in person with me, or by email and some comments as well. Keep them coming!! I love hearing about your journeys. I thought I was only going to do these posts for a week, but God has other plans for me. I don't know for how long, but I know this one was from His heart.
I'd love to hear where you are at with this, where God has taking you or is taking you after reading it. I can't wait to hear!
If you are just tuning in now to the simplicity posts and are interested in joining us be sure and check out my other posts about this voyage:
A Journey in Simplicity
Starting Out
Fasting for Simplification and Re-Sensitization
The Moment of Truth
Breaking Bad Habits
A Journey in Simplicity: Breaking Bad Habits
The last several days have been interesting, I often walk toward the computer just out of complete habit and slide it onto my lap from the table and then back realizing I don't even know what I am doing. It reminds me of when I am working with our youngest son on not sucking his fingers (security thing he has done since 2 months old), it is a mindless, habit, just a go-to for him just as the computer is for me. The computer may not be your thing, but think about it for a second and figure out if it is food, relationships, entertainment or what fills you but leaves you lacking-what is your filler bad habit.
The first step in breaking a bad habit is to look at why you find this action so compelling. In other words, what's the payoff for doing this seemingly negative thing? Since you've already classified this as a "bad" habit you may be tempted to say there isn't one. But look closer. There is always a payoff. Let's say your bad habit is yelling at your kids. What's in it for you? You let off some steam and feel a little better for the moment. Or you have a bad habit of leaving the dishes unwashed? The payoff could be that you get to spend more time on the Internet! (Bad Choices, Bad Habits by Nancy Schimelpfening)
According to Nancy (let's just call her by her first name) there is a pay off which is why you practice the behavior, but also there is a trade off. The trade off is what you are loosing by exercising your go-to bad habit. Using the example from above, yelling at your kids, it is obvious what the trade off is: low self-esteem, guilt, shame, sadness, the tearing of bonds, anxiety, stress, and emotional pain. When you act on this bad habit, you are choosing your outburst of relief over your children's well being, and really even your own. When you break it all up like that it is pretty clear that bad habits, although habits should be broken because a new pattern needs to be established. Each time you are faced with a choice between the bad habit pay off and the trade off, and now you'll realise that it is a choice even though it is programmed a certain way you can work to break that. Wise choices are not easier, but they are wiser.
Bad habits are started up for a reason, once you understand that you can form good habits in their place- a positive go to so that you don't keep going back the the bad habit. Make an active choice, one that you can feel good about. Habits aren't bad, bad habits are bad. Instead of releasing your frustration in yelling choose to go for a run in the evening! It isn't bad to need a release, but you can choose where to channel it.
Once a different habit pattern is established the only way you'll meander back is if you are in denial about the original model of pay off and trade off mentioned above. If you find yourself justifying a bad habit go back and remind yourself of the reasons for not indulging, there are repercussions-some bigger some smaller but bad habits are labeled bad for a reason.
Just writing this and reading up on bad habits, I have almost wanted to write a list of things that I do on a regular basis and attack them all. But I need to have wisdom and in faith come at these bad habits one at a time with God's guidance.
Take Action: Jot down the habit you want to deal with, pick one to start with. Pray about it and ask God which one He'd have you work on first. Write out your list of "pay offs" and "trade offs". Remember it isn't easy to break a bad habit, there is a reason it was there in the first place. Establish a substitute good habit in its place.
Are you realising, as I am that you have bad habits that need to be broken in order to live more fully?
If you are just tuning in now to the simplicity posts and are interested in joining us be sure and check out my first posts about this voyage:
A Journey in Simplicity
Starting Out
Fasting for Simplification and Re-Sensitization
The Moment of Truth
A Journey In Simplicity: Moment of Truth
It is time for the moment of truth, the evaluation of those questions probably none of us is dying to answer. I am about to answer the questions I asked you to consider answering as well in this season of your life. Again, you can comment here, write it in your journal and then send me an email- or keep it completely private, it is up to you. I just hope you considered taking this first step in learning how to live your life more simply, and more based on His priorities for you.
Evaluate time and Energy:
Top Priorities: God, Family, Spiritual Growth and health, homeschooling, Church, Friends, Physical health, quality of life.
Commitments: Wife, mom, homeschooling, church, house church, house keeping, book club, reading, painting, crafting, cooking, running, gardening, animal tending, blogging
Which commitments do I value the most: Wife, mom, church, homeschooling
Account for my time: It seems very little is used for my top priorities, but I spend a lot of time thinking of how to use time for those priorities. They get neglected easier than the immediate needs- which I know are important too...but if I spent less time fiddling around, I would have no problem spending time with greater focus on my top priorities.
What I am hearing from God:
-There is no excuse good enough to loose even a day to unproductivity.
-Running in the morning (with and every-once-in-a-while evening treat run) is the way to get your day started the way it should be. Waiting around all day to run, unshowered is just not working out, plus I need that push to get up in the morning to have time with God and to myself as well before the boys get up.
-I need to get organized, my day needs to be organized. I may not know how to do that yet, but I needs to learn.
-For the rest of the year (and maybe forever) I need to use a timer for all entertainment based Internet use (including, but not limited to Facebook, twitter, blog reading, book searching, online TV streaming, you tube...). I need to figure out a daily allowance.
What to do during this week of media fast (or other type if you so choose). Yesterday at the end of this post I mentioned three different options for a media fast this week. I didn't want to leave you in the dark though, not knowing what to do with your time, besides reading the Bible, worshiping....you know 
Once you choose an option (for your media fast), use the time normally spent on electronic media doing something completely different. For example, if you normally spend two hours watching television in the evening, use those two hours to take a walk with a friend, prayer-walk your neighborhood or pick up a long abandoned hobby.
Keep track of the time you reclaim from electronic media during your fast. I am always amazed at my options when I choose not to watch TV for an hour. Sometimes it is refreshing just to bask in the quiet for a little while. (The Rewards of Simplicity, p. 55)
I'd love to hear your thoughts, your struggles, your ideas, or what God is speaking to you during this fast.
If you are just tuning in now and are interested in joining us be sure and check out my first posts about this voyage:
A Journey in Simplicity: Starting Out
A Journey in Simplicity: Fasting for Simplification and Re-Sensitization
A Journey in Simplicity: Fasting for Simplification and To Be Re-Sensitized
Even though it hurts, for me to be useful and purposeful in life I need to shed pieces that hold me back and tether my desires, dreams and goals to anything other than Christ and what He has called me to. I challenge you to sit down and make a list right now, things you know hold you back, waste your time and/or are not glorifying to God.
There are some questions I am answering for myself (from The Rewards of Simplicity) that you may want to consider too:
Here is a list to help us start evaluating our time and energy:
- List your top priorities. What is most important to you? What (or Whom) do you value most?
- List your commitments. Consider everything, including work, church, household, family, children's extracurricular activities, hobbies, freelance work, even leisure time. Which of these commitments do you value most? Which of these fit into the top priorities you have already listed?
- Account for your time. How do you spend your waking hours? From the time you get up until the time you go to sleep, what are you doing with your time? Are you using any of your time for your top priorities? (Questions from p. 65)
Life is different for us all, and those of us with small kids know that while we would love life to flow efficiently so as to complete our tasks and enjoy life, it doesn't seem to work that way. Yet there are always things we can work on, no matter what stage of life you are in there are things that have crept in that you could do without.
Grab your list of priorities, commitments and time. Looking at each item on your list consider this:
- Does it add meaning/value to my life?
- How important is this to me?
- Does this conflict with or enhance my priorities?
- Cold I eliminate this from my life? (Questions from p.66)
Once you answer those questions honestly (which is a huge battle in itself) it is time to take action, you can do that in different ways. You could choose to eliminate one item off your list for a few days or a week, and then reevaluate. You should be able to determine quicky if it should be a permanent carving out or a toning down of that item.
Make sure you are doing this with the right motivation, " it is important to keep in mind the motivation for evaluating our time commitments and priorities-love. When we approach this evaluation with the three keys of simplification-faith, focus and function-we can be confident that the Holy Spirit will be controling the pencil".(The Rewards of Simplicity, p. 67)
After answering these questions, you may also decide to try a season of media fast, you have some different options to try:
- Cold turkey, see the problem and eliminate it all the way for a week. Keep up on email and/or use internet for work and essential research only.
- If that seems intense, try one day without electronic media of any kind. Again email and necessary research is okay for work.
- Take your pick of one of your problem media sources, one at a time eliminate it for a day or two or a week. Start with a firm goal in mind though.
Is that a lot to think about or what?! I need to answer these questions myself tonight and be honest with where I am at If you would like to take this walk with me you are welcome to follow along in comments, sending me an email if you are a more private sort of person, or just doing it without a word. Pray about what steps you should take to remove the clutter from your life.
Tomorrow (Monday) I am going to share with you what you should be doing during your media fast, it is interesting I think how a fast can leave you more nourished than when you have an array of foods (in our case media foods) to sample. This will be a great journey, so pray, make your lists, and check in tomorrow!
If you are just tuning in now and are interested in joining us be sure and check out my first post about this voyage:
A Journey in Simplicity: Starting Out
I’m Done Eating Bubbles (A Post About Love)
photo by richard.heeks
God knows my love language, He knows I need to actually feel the pressure of himself all throughout me. The settling of his weight so light and thick- a feeling that I can only feel and not describe. I am not really a person of words, although they do speak to me, I am a person of feeling. My love language is touch.
I married a man who's love language is not touch, his native love language is words of affirmation. Although we both try to be literate, or even conversationally fluent in each other's love languages we just don't get how. I long to be filled up by him knowing to hold my hand when we are walking, or put his arm around me- but when he tries it is awkward and feels fake or stilted, and I push away, because the awkward touch just leaves me wanting for the way it could feel, but doesn't. I do the same. He is very sweet about it, but it hurts him just as bad. He longs for words- words of affirmation. When he does something (anything) he wants immediate praise, I feel that I am giving him lip service when I say: "great job!", "Thank you for..." and other cliche phrases that are written on kindergarten stickers to be doled out by smiling teachers. I feel foolish and incompetent and every-single-time I feel inadequate to give him what it is that fills him up most, and I am.
I have never heard of a couple that is able to satisfy the other just perfectly. Is that surprising? I hope not. As much as we can lean into each other and learn to better speak to each other- still there is one, and only One who always gets it right. God. Every time I feel sad about The Husband's deficiency (or my need) it is because I am not feeling it enough from God. If I would let myself be met by Him who can do it so perfectly that would also free up The Husband to do the best he can and it would just be the blessing on top of blessing to bring me to overflowing. When I depend first on man, and then fill up the remainder with God it will always feel like eating bubbles. But when the soul is satisfied by the stout satisfaction that is Christ, The Husband's well meaning love isn't empty bubbles anymore it s a sweeter blessing than my words could express.
Just as I say this and read it back to myself I still wish it could be different. I wish I could be whole without God. My sin nature really fights dependency to an extreme level, even dependency on someone who won't let me down. In my human state I would rather feel some holes than trust anyone. Running to God does not come naturally to me, I would rather lean on myself while pretending to lean on The Husband and be annoyed when he falls short while patting myself on the back with feelings of false humility thinking of how really I am a martyr (ha!. I would rather not have to invest the time in God that it takes for Him to burp out the air bubbles of imperfection that others have left inside me. I then realize just how selfish it is for me to be this way. And how if I keep it up The Husband is doomed to never be good enough and always fail.
Bring it on God!!
I hear it coming. Pat, pat, pat...."BuRRRRRRP!"
My Challenge of Killing Bad Habits
As a woman, a woman who has relationships in her life I realize just how much I need God to purify me so that I will please Him through my relationships.
Recently our Pastor has been in the beginning part of Proverbs, specifically chapters 10 and 11. Those two chapters contain a wealth of wisdom as far as the importance of guarding your speech- and that you really are a fool if you don't. Pastor Rob mentioned something that I should write on my forehead, on the mirror, on my hand and on the fridge, maybe it will be my next tattoo! (not really)
Slander is saying something behind someone's back that you wouldn't say to their face. Flattery is saying something to their face that you wouldn't say behind their back.
EEEEeek!! God has been convicting me of my speech about others, and that I do in many ways try to tarnish them with what I choose to share (or not share) about them. I talked with several of my close friends and leaders telling them that I want them to know I am working on this too to motivate me to better keep watch of my words. I want to keep my lips pure and asked them to hold me to that standard.
I have known I want to do this for a while, God has stirred me for a while and yet on a daily basis I let something slip, I spit out bitterness or discuss things with someone who should have never heard me mar that other individual-but I did it to make myself feel better, even if I don't even realize it.
When I was talking to a friend today about how I am trying to break this habit, but it is so hard she encouraged me by telling me that she had been reading a book that mentions that habits are 10 times stronger than nature-okay nature is strong and 10 times that is REALLY strong. It made me feel better and we both agreed that however hard, it is time to tame this dragon and bring it under Christ's submission.
I am not saying I know how, or that I have mastered it. I do know that now instead of commenting about other people whom I am not willing to deal with in person I will do what the Bible says to do in conflict:
1.) Go to Christ and wait on Him.
2.) Go to the person with whom the conflict rests (if God tells me to do so).
3.) If it is a matter of sin and needs to be dealt with and steps 1 and 2 are not effective bring 2 NEUTRAL (not swayed by you or them) godly people in for a meeting with the person with whom you have conflict.(adapted from Matthew 18:15+16)
I know personally that I tend to feel 'the need' to discuss things out loud in order to process them, but I should be bringing them to Jesus in prayer and not my husband or my friend. This will not only allow me to grow in protecting myself from gossip, but also it will help me put my trust in Christ as the one who understands, who is there, and deter me from running to peers when I should be running to Christ first always.
Breaking habits really is hard, but daily I will set that as my goal.
Are you working on any habits that you know you need to break? Or do you have conquered habits you'd like to share? I'd love to hear it all!!
What is a Bad Day Worth?
It seems to happen on the days when I sleep in later than I should, the days when the world seems to be spinning a little faster than usual, those are the days when life gets the best of me.
We all have these days, the days in which our grandmas would have said that, "we got up on the wrong side of the bed". That seems so meaningless- and when you think of the situations which we tend to let overwhelm us, they are really just as trivial.
We have an extra bill to pay instead of spending that dough on shoes, I didn't get up in time to go running, Oliver gets the bigger ice cream cone, Brad doesn't call me when I was needing him to, it is raining, it is cloudy, it is cold, it is hot, the house is dirty, I have no clean clothes, I have so much to do....on and on and on. However, I am a wimp. Even one of these non-hypothetical problems can throw me off for the day. If it is 'the house is messy' one, awk-there goes my week! Yep, it happened just the other day, the boys were fighting from when the got up and I hadn't had my tea, my run, or most importantly any time with God and therefore allowing my circumstances control me and my mood.
Jackson screeched from the other room about how Oliver had hit him and not said sorry, and then Oliver started crying too. I stomped over to their room looking as grouchy as I could declaring, "You guys are acting horrible, and making me get into a bad mood"!! Did I say that!?! Yes, I did. The very thing that I have been working on my kids with- that others don't control how they feel, or what they do. It is true for me too- so true. It doesn't get any easier as we get older unless we work on it, does it?
Nothing has the power to rob me of my joy unless I allow it to, and I do let plenty things under my skin. Maybe not who gets the bigger piece of chocolate cake (don't think I am above that though) but close. I want to be more and more filled with Christ and the joy He gives which is certainly not circumstance based, but a commitment of lifestyle. It is so much easier for me to be joyful when I spend time with God, each time I fall in love deeper and the things that used to bug me seem less and less important.
What dictates your day?
PS. That chocolate cake sounds really good right now.
The Latest Posts:
- Our Schoolhouse: Kindergarten and First Grade Classical Education Curricula
- A Journey in Simplicity: Why We’ll Never Be Content With What We Have
- The Last War
- A Journey in Simplicity: Breaking Bad Habits
- A Journey In Simplicity: Moment of Truth
- A Journey in Simplicity: Fasting for Simplification and To Be Re-Sensitized
- A Journey in Simplicity: Starting Out
- Foreign Flicks Review: Some Good, Some Great.
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