How to Mess Up Your Child's Life
How to Mess Up Your Child's Life
Proven Strategies & Practical Tips
by Olivia and Kurt Bruner
Authors of Playstation Nation
208 pages
FaithWords (March 25, 2009)
Written to equip every parent to be a master at creating the perfect messed up kid, granting each parent the ability to destroy their child mind, body and soul. Olivia and Kurt Bruner's book How To Mess Up Your Child's Life is an intensely humours book on how to create and perfect the kid who we've all seen, the one we've wished was our own: the one who constantly feels entitled to all his birthday gifts and does not know the words 'thank you', the little girl who throws a fit to get her way and her parents happily give in, the grown man who pushes an elderly woman out of his way because he needs to get there first. Yes, we have all seen and admired these people, and wished for them in our own lives and now with the genius help of Oliver and Kurt Bruner you too can have children who are the envy of messed up!
Not really, no. Well you could...but I am guessing you got the sarcasm in those above lines (you did right??) So, this book is genius, but because it is funny, filled with truth and very insightful, on what NOT to do just as much as on what TO do. I have read Doctor Dobson, and other such gurus before, but this book is by far my favourite parenting book to date. It really is displayed and explained in a way that makes sense! Olivia and Kurt break down the chapters into "the seven deadly sins" of which they explain all other sins stem out of. At the end of each chapter there is are activities to reinforce the attitudes in your children, movies to watch to help them understand, and goofy games and things to do as a family to help you all grasp the darkness of each sin.
Just so you get a taste, I'll list the chapters:
Chapter One: Nurturing an Enormous Ego
(Deadly Sin: Pride)
Chapter Two: Inspiring Lasting Discontent
(Deadly Sin: Envy)
Chapter Three: Encouraging an Expressive Temper
(Deadly Sin: Anger)
Chapter Four: Feeding a Voracious Appetite
(Deadly Sin: Gluttony)
Chapter Five: Discouraging Frivolous Generosity
(Deadly Sin: Greed)
Chapter Six: Fostering Total Dependence
(Deadly Sin: Sloth)
Chapter Seven: Condoning Sensual Gratification
(Deadly Sin: Lust)
Chapter Eight: Instilling Faith
(Whatever You Do, Don't!)
Personally I got more out of this book in understanding kids, and myself than any other book. I loved the style and thought it was really funny. How To Mess Up Your Child's Life is written in a way that really made sense to me and to which I could relate to. It wasn't all about creating the perfect child, making him perfect in all aspects. It is more a molding and modeling and allowing the growth to be the fruit rather than what was demanded. I feel it attacks the key issues and leaves the rest. As a parent I am constantly working on choosing the battles that are actually important (versus the fact that a child is just really getting on my nerves) and Olivia and Kent really hit it home in this one. Highly recommended.
12?
We know a beautiful family who has 12 chillins, yep 12 kids-- no not cats. On friday night we got to spend the evening with them, they blessed us with clam chowder, fishsticks, salad and the most amazing cheesecake ever (thanks Claire)!!! We talked, discussed, and made fun of eachother (all in great fun) Brad was blessed as much as I was. It is so fun to be around people that get you, get your jokes and seem to enjoy you just as much as you enjoy them. It was so encouraging also to see that, the older kids are amazingly well behaved/responsible/respectful/sweet/kind and gentle, not only that but also loving with their younger siblings. Honesty, that is a biggie for me, and these folks are honest to the core. We disused stubborn children, and just what that looks like...yes families of 12 have to deal with stubbornness as well. Blessings to them.
I know that we are blessed by them, by their calling and obedience. They are such fun people to hang out with. I could try to tell you their story, but you should check out the blog posts coming from someone who knows what it is like to have 12 kids. Matt Szabo (aka Sabo) (aka Team Sabo leader numero 1) writes his own blog on the struggles, joys and there you can see their heart and fall in love all on your own. Do they really have 12 kids? yep, 12.
There you'll find some fun posts on being a diaper changer for 19 years, on counting our lives too dear, and my favourite....how they ended up with 12 amazing jewels!
ps. for the pictures it was really hard to get everyone in the same area. I didn't do so well with that, but I wanted to enjoy our time there so I just took the above two. I always am bummed that I don't take more....but I just like to visit :)
Hazelnut Hill
We are blessed to live in a place in the world that takes great pride in its local treasures. one such delight are the hazelnuts, or filberts as some will know them. At our house we call them hazelnuts and get them from hazelnut hill, an excellent, local, home grown, fun place for an outing with the whole family. Corvallis Oregon has great treasures....this is one of our favourites during the Christmas season....we love giving these because whoever we give them to beg us for more in all their complements they shower on the flavour and sweetness of the nuts.
Not only can you get nuts, you can get them in all their forms...my favorite are the hazelnuts in dark chocolate, oh and the hazelnut toffee....oh, and they also have blueberries in dark chocolate and raspberries. Seriously...ya gotta try them, remember Hazelnut Hill.
Are you done?
"Are you done?" That question for a long time has been a loaded one here at the bungaree place. B looks at me, I smile and look at him and whoever is asking it is trying to figure out what exactly the inside joke is. Yes, I am referring to the question, " Are you done?" as in "are you done having children?". It has been one of controversy...but no more, at least not for now.
We have been praying about it, thinking about it, talking about it and up until several days ago it was still a debate when brought up. But then something changed, in both of us at the same time and yet separately God was working on us. I recently have been praying for a peace about NOT having more kids and I felt like God gave me that peace, so when it all changed I was a little surprised. The most surprising thing is not that he told me, but that he communicated it clearly to B, as he has been the one who was determined to not have more EVER.
I think it is so funny that whenever we say we will NEVER do that, or this....it almost seems like we have to swallow those words and do it to walk in obedience. I wonder if God uses that as a challenge? haha, I know he doesn't but that has happened so many times!
So what changed? Well we know for sure we are going to have one more, somehow I feel maybe two more....but we are taking this one step at a time! B and I sat on the couch to talk and so I expressed to him that I really just didn't feel right about not having any more, he smiled and admitted that God had been telling him the same. Okay, if you have been around B lately, you KNOW that is a miracle. We both agreed that we couldn't disobey, and that it would only be out of selfishness that we wouldn't have any more. Personally I don't feel thrilled about being pregnant again, or having to go to the doctor every two weeks and have them poke and touch me. I don't want to gain the 50 lbs that I gain with each pregnancy and I don't want my skin to be stretched out like that ever again. Beyond pregnancy I know what it is like to have babies, they cry, they go through teething, they fight sleep by keeping you up all night....but all those things are so selfish. And we are not called to walk in selfishness....ever.
That we can limit his blessing by what we allow into our lives, for us right now it is about kids but there are so many things that fit into this category, is a gift and a curse. We could do that so easily, by not listening and closing our eyes, but are we really done being blessed by God with children? We can ignore, but we'd be missing his best for us.
Disclaimer: This is for us, and only us. God has given this burden to our family and it does not mean it is wrong to have one, two, or ten...this is a personal thing that I wanted to share with you, not some conviction that I feel you should share too.
the bad and the ugly
O and J were outside, (they play outside in the backyard for hours every day) I was washing dishes and I hear a scream, an important scream and a continous scream. I ran outside and could not figure it out and then I did. O was COVERED in yellow jacket wasps. Covered. He was screaming, I was swating them, and J was screaming and crying too. I rushed them in the house, closed the door, swated the killer yellow jackets off and stomped on them. When I saw how many there were in that room still trying to attack we ran for J's room and closed ourselves in. I smashed all of them in there, and then took the boys' clothes off.
I have to tell you, it was a life saver, the way they were dressed really saved them from much worse. They both had begged to not change out of their footed pj's and I had agreed, and they were also both wearing rubber boots. The yellow jackets had a hard time getting at them directly sinse their clothes were baggy as well. I looked both the boys over to figure out how many times they had been bit, j only three and o, well on O I counted 12 and then he was done with me counting. I stayed with them to make sure they were not going to have an alergic reaction and then got down to business.
I got the boys under J's blankets and told them to stay there. They stayed under there on and off screaming crying and yelling: " come take care of us mamma!!!!" I knew they needed me, but I had to kill the rest in the rest of the house as well. I stayed with them for a couple of minutes, and then went into the occupied rooms. There they were, all buzing about! They were no longer in attack mode, and I took advantage of that. I killed them all. When I was done there were around 20 dead yellow jackets in the house.
When they were all gone, I went and asked the boys what had happend, where the nest was and how they made them so mad. J reported that O saw "their house" and wanted to kill them so he went over with a shovel and was "smashing them". No dobut that is why O got them to attack. I think he knows now :) But now they are gone anyway.
Today, the nest in the backyard is empty, or full depending on how you look at it. I know this is not the GREEN way, but it was our way...B dumped gasoline down the whole. They are all dead now. I am sure there were better ways, but I actually wanted them dead in a bad way.
We are all fine, life goes on...I am the one who reacted the most to the stings/bites. I have a huge welt on my leg. J has no signs at all, and on O you can see the one on his eye lid is swollen, but that is the only one that reacted at all on him.
the survivor!!! :) you can see his right eye is swollen though.
I will say meat tenderizer really is the solution for me!!! I mixed it with a little water...gone is the itch and sting. Just remember that in case you ever get stung. I have had the meat tenderizer in the cabnet for years, and I had no idea what to do with it.....now I know!
pretty eggs
We did easter eggs today. It was HUGE fun with jackson. I have come to the conclusion that brown eggs make the best colours, check it out!
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