To Obey is Better Than Sacrifice

Jackson (5 years) told me that he wanted to write out the Commandments. We couldn't quite fit ten on his stones.
We have been going through seasons of change, of difficulty, of quiet and silence as far as direction goes. Recently we have heard God’s leading. A while back we felt God called us to be missionaries to Spain and with all our hearts were thrilled to go. When we visited Spain we just didn’t have a peace about it at all, it was an unmistakable ‘NO’. This was confusing, nothing short of devastating but I clung to the verse that ‘To obey is better than sacrifice’ (1 Sam. 15:22) or in my case it would be to obey is better than blessing- because I just couldn’t wait to go. As much as I know the truth in that, and in serving where He has called us it was hard. So then by assumption we just decided to stay at the church to which we moved, so that we could go and work with my parents in Spain, because maybe God was calling us there instead. I do not doubt for one second that God’s plan and will was even there in that. I actually know that to be true now.
At that time we decided to pray, we have been praying since we got back from Spain in September praying for peace and confirmation about what His will for us was. The uncertain thing about prayer isn’t that God hears orĀ answers- but that he does so in ways we don’t expect. I prayed that God would give me the ability to not be in the way as He lead. I mentioned before that we have felt in a holding pattern- in a silent place of waiting on God. That season just ended, we are in a new season. God has recently told us to head back to Calvary Chapel and as much as we are excited to go back home- I hate looking fickle. I am the type that once I make a decision I want to stick to it even if it isn’t the right one. But that would be disobedient- and sin. So with mixed feelings of joy and shame we decide to go.
But God wants to deal with even that feeling of shame in me, to take that guilt away and give me what He intended to give me all along. After it was confirmed that we would go back, I started trying to pray and thank God,” Oh God it is so good that you brought us to this other church to reach out, to stir things up and if only to meet one person who needed us- we are so thankful” I was once again humbled as God spoke to me about how that was part of what happened because of our obedience, but not why he brought us there. This is what He spoke to me:
When you realize your place through humility, through being broken and brought down low- only then will I be glorified. Because only then will you understand completely that any step above eternal condemnation is a gift and not yours to hold to tightly, or yours to boast of, find pride in, come to expect, or feel you have earned.
That is why there is beauty in the broken and why pain brings joy. Because only then do you not lean on yourself- you have no choice but to lean on Me. No longer will it matter if others think you are obeying or hearing, no longer will it matter because you are steadfast in Me. You have surrendered.
God spoke that to me a couple nights ago. I wrote it down and the first feelings were shock, relief, joy and then embarrassment. God was working on me trusting Him, which I already thought I did. But now I realize that for me it is harder to trust Him when He wants me to do things that make me look bad, make me look indecisive or confused, or when He tells me to stay and not to go. I can be so critical, so quick to judge others- why would I assume God would share His plan for them with me? He didn’t even share His plan for me with me!!
At womens Bible study (that I have still been attending at Calvary Chapel Corvallis) our leader Cindy has been challenged that it shouldn’t be ‘more of God and less of me’, but ‘all of God and none of me’. I agree, because no matter how many bad things I didn’t do, no matter how much I could have sinned growing up and didn’t- nobody owes me anything. Actually I am the one who owes, I owe a debt that I can’t pay. I am entitled to nothing- but through God’s grace I am justified.
This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. there is no difference, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. Romans 3: 22-24
What has God been working in your lately? I’d love to hear!




