A Journey in Simplicity: Breaking Bad Habits

The last several days have been interesting, I often walk toward the computer just out of complete habit and slide it onto my lap from the table and then back realizing I don't even know what I am doing. It reminds me of when I am working with our youngest son on not sucking his fingers (security thing he has done since 2 months old), it is a mindless, habit, just a go-to for him just as the computer is for me. The computer may not be your thing, but think about it for a second and figure out if it is food, relationships, entertainment or what fills you but leaves you lacking-what is your filler bad habit.

The first step in breaking a bad habit is to look at why you find this action so compelling. In other words, what's the payoff for doing this seemingly negative thing? Since you've already classified this as a "bad" habit you may be tempted to say there isn't one. But look closer. There is always a payoff. Let's say your bad habit is yelling at your kids. What's in it for you? You let off some steam and feel a little better for the moment. Or you have a bad habit of leaving the dishes unwashed? The payoff could be that you get to spend more time on the Internet! (Bad Choices, Bad Habits by Nancy Schimelpfening)

According to Nancy (let's just call her by her first name) there is a pay off which is why you practice the behavior, but also there is a trade off. The trade off is what you are loosing by exercising your go-to bad habit. Using the example from above, yelling at your kids, it is obvious what the trade off is: low self-esteem, guilt, shame, sadness, the tearing of bonds, anxiety, stress, and emotional pain. When you act on this bad habit, you are choosing your outburst of relief over your children's well being, and really even your own. When you break it all up like that it is pretty clear that bad habits, although habits should be broken because a new pattern needs to be established. Each time you are faced with a choice between the bad habit pay off and the trade off, and now you'll realise that it is a choice even though it is programmed a certain way you can work to break that. Wise choices are not easier, but they are wiser.

Bad habits are started up for a reason, once you understand that you can form good habits in their place- a positive go to so that you don't keep going back the the bad habit. Make an active choice, one that you can feel good about. Habits aren't bad, bad habits are bad. Instead of releasing your frustration in yelling choose to go for a run in the evening! It isn't bad to need a release, but you can choose where to channel it.

Once a different habit pattern is established the only way you'll meander back is if you are in denial about the original model of pay off and trade off mentioned above. If you find yourself justifying a bad habit go back and remind yourself of the reasons for not indulging, there are repercussions-some bigger some smaller but bad habits are labeled bad for a reason.

Just writing this and reading up on bad habits, I have almost wanted to write a list of things that I do on a regular basis and attack them all. But I need to have wisdom and in faith come at these bad habits one at a time with God's guidance.

Take Action: Jot down the habit you want to deal with, pick one to start with. Pray about it and ask God which one He'd have you work on first. Write out your list of "pay offs" and "trade offs". Remember it isn't easy to break a bad habit, there is a reason it was there in the first place. Establish a substitute good habit in its place.

Are you realising, as I am that you have bad habits that need to be broken in order to live more fully?

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If you are just tuning in now to the simplicity posts and are interested in joining us be sure and check out my first posts about this voyage:

A Journey in Simplicity

Starting Out
Fasting for Simplification and Re-Sensitization
The Moment of Truth