My Challenge of Killing Bad Habits
As a woman, a woman who has relationships in her life I realize just how much I need God to purify me so that I will please Him through my relationships.
Recently our Pastor has been in the beginning part of Proverbs, specifically chapters 10 and 11. Those two chapters contain a wealth of wisdom as far as the importance of guarding your speech- and that you really are a fool if you don't. Pastor Rob mentioned something that I should write on my forehead, on the mirror, on my hand and on the fridge, maybe it will be my next tattoo! (not really)
Slander is saying something behind someone's back that you wouldn't say to their face. Flattery is saying something to their face that you wouldn't say behind their back.
EEEEeek!! God has been convicting me of my speech about others, and that I do in many ways try to tarnish them with what I choose to share (or not share) about them. I talked with several of my close friends and leaders telling them that I want them to know I am working on this too to motivate me to better keep watch of my words. I want to keep my lips pure and asked them to hold me to that standard.
I have known I want to do this for a while, God has stirred me for a while and yet on a daily basis I let something slip, I spit out bitterness or discuss things with someone who should have never heard me mar that other individual-but I did it to make myself feel better, even if I don't even realize it.
When I was talking to a friend today about how I am trying to break this habit, but it is so hard she encouraged me by telling me that she had been reading a book that mentions that habits are 10 times stronger than nature-okay nature is strong and 10 times that is REALLY strong. It made me feel better and we both agreed that however hard, it is time to tame this dragon and bring it under Christ's submission.
I am not saying I know how, or that I have mastered it. I do know that now instead of commenting about other people whom I am not willing to deal with in person I will do what the Bible says to do in conflict:
1.) Go to Christ and wait on Him.
2.) Go to the person with whom the conflict rests (if God tells me to do so).
3.) If it is a matter of sin and needs to be dealt with and steps 1 and 2 are not effective bring 2 NEUTRAL (not swayed by you or them) godly people in for a meeting with the person with whom you have conflict.(adapted from Matthew 18:15+16)
I know personally that I tend to feel 'the need' to discuss things out loud in order to process them, but I should be bringing them to Jesus in prayer and not my husband or my friend. This will not only allow me to grow in protecting myself from gossip, but also it will help me put my trust in Christ as the one who understands, who is there, and deter me from running to peers when I should be running to Christ first always.
Breaking habits really is hard, but daily I will set that as my goal.
Are you working on any habits that you know you need to break? Or do you have conquered habits you'd like to share? I'd love to hear it all!!
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March 17th, 2010 - 09:07
I was at a conference probably 10 years ago and at a luncheon for women leaders the speaker was going over things she had learned by her 50th birthday. One of the things she said was “Read and Memorize more scripture and be less opinionated”. That is something that has always stayed with me and I think about it a lot even though I don’t always practice it.
March 17th, 2010 - 12:43
I know! If hearing something meant we could do it perfectly I’d listen so much better!! It is the discipline of practice and falling in step with Christ that enables us-imperfect as we are.
March 17th, 2010 - 12:13
I just know you can’t change the outside [speech] without changing the inside [heart matters] ~ you’re on the right track but don’t set yourself up … trying/striving/working to be better can be the biggest mistake… but bringing your heart wholly to Him is the way to go ~ He changes us by His spirit!
March 17th, 2010 - 12:42
Great reminder! The heart is the key thing, first noticing the problem and then working (with Him) to change that in you. I know that for myself though, I am a practical person and i so often need the practical “what does this really look like’ approach to dovetail with a change of heart. I know that I can’t do it on my own, yet thanks so much for the reminder-I can’t power through it to perfection. Perfection only comes from getting closer and closer to Jesus.
March 17th, 2010 - 20:11
This is something I needed to hear today.
March 18th, 2010 - 16:01
I am so thankful that it touched you- it is pretty hard for me to put myself out there, but it always seems to be what God is asking of me! :)
March 18th, 2010 - 14:03
I have been trying to improve my attitude at work, both to my bosses’ faces and behind their backs (complaining to my coworker when the bosses step out). I’ll do well for a day or two then slip right back to my old ways, either through some event or the temptation of chiming in when my coworker does her own complaining. What I have found is that God gets hold of me and corrects me when I finally take a moment to be quiet: when the office is empty and I turn down my radio, or in the evenings at home when I’m reading and thinking about Godly things. So I ask forgiveness, pray for strength, and come back and start over…BTW I always admire people who can chatter like crazy without sinning because I can’t seem to talk long at all without whining, complaining, or slandering! Sometimes I wonder what kind of old bitty my heart really is. :)
I am so thankful God gives me an “A” for making the effort, anyway, that he knows I am sensitive to the Spirit even if the flesh is still at battle! Thank God for ‘one more second chances’!
March 18th, 2010 - 16:04
I agree with you, it seems I just have a knack to criticize or be judgmental. It is hardest when someone else does too because my flesh wants to join in! Lately I am protecting myself from spending too much time with those who have this same weakness- or I talk to them about how I am trying to get rid of it and ask that they help me. It really does work- it would be harder to do with a co worker though, but pray about it.